have you ever sent a letter to someone you admired yet never had a reply in return?well, that just simply shows that either they're busy or they just don't want to reply to your mail..ang sakit naman noon..hehehe...anyways, pls take a look at this reflection i had just this summer.

Dear ______?

I never thought it's possible for me to deeply care for somone as much as I do for you. Never thought I'd lose my head for some feelings that I could and would not want to dampen. I never imagined losing myself to anyone, least of all, YOU.
You started out as a teeny-weeny crush, nothing actually to be alarmed about. First time i saw you, twas a split moment, I certainly said to myself "Duh!he's just another ordinary person!" But hey i should admit, i loved your eyes...yet, I forgot about the whole thing for I know I was not bound to meet you again, at least I thought so..

For some reason, fate had another plan. We meet again and that was the start of everything....endless text messages, phone calls, constant outing with other friends and etc..but during that time, I got drowned already in your mysterious eyes that seem to say a thousand unfathomable secrets.

Surely I got lost in the moment, like Eminem!, well, spent a quite passionate night in your arms (naks!???really?passionate ba iyon?ang drama naman ata nito?!)Still i had hesitations and a hundred questions and doubt still lingered in the back of my mind. Why did I? and what did I?, I could never uncover the reason, guess its event had a reason of its own.

To get involved with you at that moment was very wrong (or so I supposed) for I was seeing someone in your eyes though not really involved with him. I supposed my feelings, if only you know how much and to what lengthes I went just to forget you. Denial? That's now perfectly I could describe what I did? yet I failed.

The times that we are apart, I can't seem to vanish your face from my memory..(hanep!ang tindi ng kapit mo!!!para kang leech na grabe kung mag suck ng dugo!!!)You plagued my being..

Sometimes, I'd let myself think its just the passion we share that has stopped me from ever forgetting you..but why is it that my most memorable moment with you is when we were just talking to each other in the silence of the night?(ay duh!!ang corny ko naman talaga!!nakapagtataka kung bakit nkagawa ako nito!) I guess I really am Hopeless..

Then all of a sudden, you stopped reaching out to me.I was relieved at first. i was glad that finally I' getting rid of you for good. I always take pride in recovering easily from failure yet something was eating me inside and finally I felt myself quite empty. Just when I was in the brink of despair, events took a sudden twist of fate..

pls.read this poems of mine..hahaha..out of ka cornihan ng utak ko at the fact na wala akong magawa..

CONFUSED HEART

You came to me with a confused heart
I didn't know what to say or where to start
I heard the pain and the sadness in your voice
I wish I had the answers to help you make a choice
I think about you often
And I cry and I smile once the tears have dried
I tell myself I can't corss that line
I hope I heal with the passing of time
I know you are my friend and nothing more
I will go on being here for you and not let things show
I will love you from afar and put up a GREAT WALL inside my heart
Because I just won't let myself get hurt again and fall.

and if you want to forget someone you've love so much..ponder on these thoughts my friends..

FORGET

Forget his name..forget his face
Forget his kiss and warm embrace
Forget his love taht once was true
Remember now there's someone new

Forget the love that you once shared
Forget the fact that he once cared
Forget the times you spent together
Remember now he's gone forever

Forget you cried the whole night long
Forget him when you hear your song
Forget how close you two once were
Remember now he's chosen her

Forget you memorize his walk
Forget the way he used to talk
Forget the time he was mad
Remember now they're glad

Forget the thrill when he passes by
Forget the time he made you cry
Forget the way he spoke your name
Remember now things are not the same

Forget the time that went so fast
Forget them all they're just the past
Forget the dreams that can't come true
FORGET HIM GIRL!FOR HE HAS FORGOTTEN YOU!

I FORGIVE

Forgiveness is letting go of the pain
and accepting what have happened
because it will not change
Forgiveness is dismissing the balem
Choices were made that caused the hurt
we each could have chosen differently
but we didn't
Forgiveness is looking at the pain
learning the lessons it had produced
and understanding what we have learned
Forgiveness allows us to move on
towards a better understanding of universal love
and our true purpose
Forgiveness is knowing that love
is the answer to all questions
and that we all are in some way connected
Forgiveness is starting over
with the knowledge that we have gained
I forgive you and I forgive myself
I hope you can do the same..

Sometimes, we clsoe our eyes and just listen to the echoes of our hearts. We all fall in love and there are times when we love so much that we lose ourselves in our emotions. More often that not, we wonder why there are love that grows and love that grows cold. We would start to search for answers and try to find where love has gone wrong. But in the end, we find ourselves where we started for we cannot question love when it has its own reasons. Love will always be as it always has been silent...

MYSTERIOUS AND DEEPLY PROFOUND!!!!!

Many of us believe that love is forever,that love never dies, only to be disillusioned in the end when we find our hands empty and our hearts longing. We mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be fulfilled But love is only a gift given to us. We should not hold it in our hands for we nevr find the strength to let it go when it decides to leave. We should only embarce its warmth and glow while it last, and then freely open our arms when its time to say goodbye. Always bear in mind, life should not end where heartaches begin..

There is always a reason why we have to move on. When we ahve to say goodbye to the feeling we wanted to stay forever, let us not wave our hands with a heavy heart. For love will have to set ist wings free and find the place where it belongs. We may have lost it but then again, when we close our eyes and listen to the echoes of our hearts, we will hear that feeling resounding silently forever.

Just a personal piece of advice..Don't go for looks, they can be deceiving.. Don't go for wealth of tile position; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it only takes a smile to make a dark day seems bright. Hope you find the one that can make you smile. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all things you want to do..

To end this, the happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. the brightest future will always be based o a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failure and heartaches. One day when you are not looking, God will will present to you your true soulmate..

just WAIT!!!

DESTINY---Do you really believe in this word? I have always been fascinated with this "magical" word..Or do you even consider it as magical? Some people have been amazed and spellbounded when the word LOVE is blurted out. But sad to say, i haven't really uncover the mystery that lies behind this one single truth!

Let me just divulge all the words that i have to say so that it would relieve my burdens as of the moment.. I don't have the initiative to even sort this words because im more comfortable with just saying these things out so that ill be able to find my sense of inner peace. Lately, i havent been able to find myself---the one that i was used to before...For all the life-shattering moments that i had for the past few weeks seem to enclothe me with bitterness not just with myself but for those people who have caused the unbearable pain i have now.

Truthfully, I really missed someone so special to me now..It's not because he has been special to me for a couple of times but because he has been a part of my life. Here is the sad realization i had and as well as the worthwhile experience i had with this person. Let's say, he was with me when i started another chapter of my life and that was when i had this nerve-wreacking job as what others may have called this. And eventhough we only had a few times spent together, i started to fall for him... Or was i really inlove with HIM or just with the word LOVE? Obsession may be one thing also that gave me the drive to be hooked on with him. This is how the story goes...

I met this person perhaps more than two months ago. At first, I really find him strict and unfriendly because the first time i met him, he just gave me a stern look and so i told myself, "cm'on,ang taray nya!!!"But then honestly, I really find him cute..We ended up being friends after a common friend, GEORGE, introduced me to him. We started building a framework for our NEW FRIENDSHIP!!!It was fun being with him coz he knows how to blurt the right and appropriate joke when we are really deep in our thoughts. Then, me, stupid as I am, started liking him...Thinking that he likes me also, i assumed we're having the same mutual feelings.. Yes, indeed we had or i might have assumed more than what i ought to be!

But things are not the same anymore... At the moment I informed him I was inlove, he started to be drawn far from me.. The reason for this was the last time i went to his house to have some few good moments with the people around there, he asked me not to fall inlove coz I'll be more weirder (that was according to him) . I said and made a pact that I will never fall inlove--however i dared myself to try what would his reaction be if I tell him I was inlove--and so there it goes...I texted him I was inlove with a person from the opposite sex without even giving him a clue who it was. This very insensitive guy, never bothered to ask me who it was just replied--"just text george and monique and informed them that you're inlove coz I'm going to sleep!! "OUCH!!!That really hurts!!!"The best time you expect him to sympathize with you, the more he doesn't want to listen and share his insights about this!!!I never bothered because I was also considering the point that he must be tired from work..But then, THINGS changed abruptly that I don't even know what went wrong!!! Was the reason primarily because I broke the promise that I gave him or because he really doesn't want to find time to listen to all my words?.. and so. I stopped with the issue!!!

What's the more puzzling thing right now, is that he seemed to ignore my presence on the floor already.. I was used to his old funny way where he would usually dropped by my station to check if Im doing good or if Im OK!!!NOW--what a waste..He won't even bother to reply to all my messages or won't even bother to say Hi or Hello to me!!!I was puzzled and shocked with how things turned out to be this way!!I never expected that because of my stupidity--I lost our friendship!!Or is the friendship still there? I bet not!!! The value for each other that we had before has long been gone and all that remains now is the bitterness I have for myself...Why did I even try daring myself to do those non-sense things!!?

Tell me guys, was it really my fault?

JUST A PIECE OF ADVICE---Never lose LOVE when you almost have it because you'll definitely end up blaming yourself and asking a million of "why?" and "what if's?" When you find it, never let it go..Never let the value that you have for each other depreciate because you only have one chance to try if things will work out for LOVE..Always take the risk, even if you'll end up with tears and pain because It will only make you a BETTER, WELL-LIVED HUMAN BEING!!!